Fear of Success

As I sit and reflect on fear of success, I think of all the times in the past when life seemingly handed me something on a silver platter, and I found a way to self-sabotage it.

In the moment, I didn’t sense I was acting out of fear.

The struggle I created for myself felt noble. 

Familiar. 

Like there was something glorious about doing things the hard way. 

Now I know it was fear in disguise.

What I feared was what came next if I were to “succeed” in my pursuits.

That if I lean into change, I might lose what I already have. 

So my lesser self whispers,

“The journey isn’t worth it.“

“Your life won’t be all that different anyway.”

“Change could be for the worse.”

Fear of success has held me back more than fear of failure ever could. 

Scared to succeed and have everything change. 

To no longer relate.

Scared to outgrow friends… again. 

EB